Battle Field: godslayer and gods

I did not want this to drag on.

I was looking at them before, and I haven't got the slightest care as to what I should be feeling.  But what I was thinking...

I thought it was all a waste of time getting this close.

It's tiring, bothersome...and I had set my sights to do my duties in this place.  That's it.  I had no desire whatsoever, to do what they wanted to do.  I did not want any of them near me unless it was necessary.

But that was just like me, to forget every lock that I had set up myself, gotten myself close, and now...this...

Maybe I could get away with a whisper of "Fuck this...I really should have known better..." , I did, but I decided otherwise.  I wasn't sure if it was for the fun of it, or was I just trying to pass boredom?  I was not the type to be sorry for what happened that I decided for myself but for the heck of it all...maybe I was just being selfish.

Maybe.

I'm not sure if anyone would agree with my way of thinking.

For one, those lying piece of shits all said to me that there was "No one will be left behind".

But look at the situation that I am in now.  Save for those who died, and who are really, genuinely concerned, the others are all, well,...

And I wondered if what an author said before, maybe that was J.K. Rowling, one of her characters have said that it was better to have died rather than live and betray your friends.

Death.  Betrayal.

Ironically though, these two have a thin thread binding them.

In death, those who remained felt betrayed, for they have been forfeited the chance to live and feel that one person who became important to them.  In betrayal, those who are left behind, feels death.

And that, is what I felt.  Dying everyday I remember.

So, while I slowly stood up, I said to myself that I needed to go on.

Boredom really is better than betrayal.