Whose damn fault is this???

It's been a month that he started asking for space.

It began when I promised to lend him money.  That day, I lost my work.  And then I was commented on how my working attitude goes on for the worst. Losing my job and all.  Then I lost my phone.

I informed him that day but he told me that the depends on me.   I think that is how things went on.  He called me a liar since I was still online through all that time.  I told him I already lost my phone that day in a market stall.  He did not believe me.  I think he was only thinking of how he could get the money I was about to lend him, that was a promise I made but I was not able to uphold it.

And now, I have a job.  And he still asks for space, despite the fact that we already made up.

I began to have suspicions since we have not talked that much, in the past, I caught him chatting with another man, even to the point where the jerk is telling him "I love you".  He is still asking for that damn space.  There came two nights that I wanted to talk to him, so we could fix things.  He ignored my calls.  My messages, saying that he did not want to talk as he wanted space.  I begged and pleaded till daybreak to answer my call but he did not answer.

I went through the messages he posted on facebook.  I know that is low of me but I was so angry.  And I read from there that he's going to meet this boy when he comes back in Manila.

I even told him that I'm going to tell this boy about us.  Still he did not reply.

I told the boy about the concern.  And surprise, he was the cousin.  Although that was the case, I was being reprimanded because I have been thinking like a kid he says, that I have a dirty mind.  I replied that if he only knew me all in all, in a way, he could understand what I was going through.  He said I deserved everything that is happening today.

Do I? I have faults.  But everything is already done..I want to break up with him as to end the term he gave me..."that you only make things worse for me...".  I had enough.  I cannot stand a relationship where you don't talk at all for a month.

Sometimes, these are days that I wanted to just die and be done with it.