A godslayer Among gods...

"Truths of facing and living within reality"

When I was young, I have vague ideas with regards to the idea of FRIENDSHIP, BOND, and LOVE.

Those were the things that I usually dream of having, especially that being the second child of two, and the youngest, I was usually left alone. My sister was in college and both my parents are at work. I am left with pet chickens and cats and dogs and mice.

Friends and enemies have a distinction back then. Friends were those who play with you and hang out with you the most. And those who do not, are considered your enemies.

In high school and college, I was overwhelmed by the events as to which these ideas were tested. I saw how those dear to me, changed, or more likely, everyone, including me.

That change was confusing. As I experienced being betrayed, by those close to me. And that betrayal would repeat over and over again. It came to a point that no matter how many times I was betrayed, I would forgive. Clinging to a notion that there's a reason why people became that, or why i chose to become this.

Now, I see that those ideas has little effect to me. I now consider those things to be normal, for people who betray, love, care for, and betray again. The only thing that remained constant to me is how people crave for love, attention, companionship. And sometimes, just sometimes, there are moments when we get a little too close, and in the end, we tend to let go of the idea, for the sake of moving on, or what might others say, "facing reality."

For me, I see it as professionalism and/or maturity.

When I am at work, those I think that share a bond to me. are not necessarily my friends. We are merely acquaintances, co-workers that as of the present, get to the same "path" together.

It's not so bad, even though at times, there's a small pinch in the heart whenever I hear, "We're not friends", even if the statement was not directed at me, I know, and I expect, that in one way or the other, I will be disappointed by those words.

Somehow...